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Thinking Takes a Long Time 0tppz1z
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Thinking Takes a Long Time

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default Thinking Takes a Long Time

Post by Aiwethryne on 27/01/14, 08:00 am

Rating: Teen
Genre: Angst, Comedy (Kinda on both...)
Summary: Zelos considers his feelings toward Sheena, though he does not know what to make of them – or how to express them.

The title says it all...

Thinking Takes a Long Time
Spoiler:
Beneath a lonely birch, in silent hopes of evading at least a small portion of the summer's smoldering waves of heat, the fair-skinned man, his flaming hair whipping around his face, gazed solemnly into the horizon. He had been waiting a while, not especially in a hurry, though the anticipation welled in his chest, a wistful bit of ache that left him pressing his right side against the course, charred bark of the oak tree, almost as if to try to move the sentinel. Only the whisper of the leaves, elegantly rustled about by the wind, could be heard, leaving the billowing grass as merely unnoticeable, mute hairs to the earth.

Perhaps he was not missed, a notion he had grown accustomed to over the years. The party was too busy with their chores, their duties, for him to want to intrude. It was always better to get out of the way before he could do more damage. Still, he wished for change and assurance, risking his pride to do something he would normally scoff at and pursue indifference in. The man lowered his lashes and obviously sighed, having finally sensed that the one thing he wished to meet in this minuscule portion of the universe was nearby, but he would not fully betray his mask of secrets, just a moment longer.

There was almost a stifled pause in the air, a trace of emotion that this man could not place his finger on. "...What's up with you, Zelos?" an awkward force of words rang out to fill the silence. Not feminine, at all. The usual smirk drew against one corner of Zelos' lips. He was no stranger to this voice or her dubious, somewhat accusing tone. Promptly, he swayed his head back to eye suggestively at the raven-haired girl – rather, woman.

"Sheena!" the scarlet man easily greeted using his usual easygoing inflection, rotating lithely on his toe. Zelos extended his arms, flamboyant in nature, never forgetting his playful smile. "Did you come to comfort me or something, hun?"
Impassioned maroon eyes grew to deny any underlying motives, but a subtle heat met the woman's cheeks in a way that the sun could never achieve. "Oh, sh-shut up..." she muttered with unusual taciturnity. Sheena rolled her eyes once, writing it off before it became a topic of the Chosen's forward mockery.

Indeed, Zelos understood how much it piqued Sheena's anger whenever he lightly associated her with one of his other women, but he had decided long ago that this was his character, a defense mechanism against all those who sought to use him. He was a man to be reckoned with, a powerful figure that would not easily be swayed by all the shrewd courtesans and aristocratic daughters, no matter what the crowds believed. There was no recanting for his behavior, here and now, as he found no reason to show what often haunted his dreams and memories. Is she any different? Combing his red locks back with one swift glide of his fingers, then tracing them provocatively across his jawbone, Zelos continued to maintain his composure of strength and virility, staring down this particular female.

But his eyes softened, and he turned in profile. "Is that any way to speak to someone?" He nearly chuckled. Humor, most would have interpreted those words to have been. He was supposedly never the serious kind. Sheena, especially, had always been wary of his discerning need to joke when the situation was tense. Sheena, the woman who seemingly spurned all advances toward her out of her own need to protect herself. Oddly enough, Zelos realized, they reflected each other, working to balance each other out in their opposite existences. Zelos found himself imagining the grim possibilities... A tightening sensation within his chest gave him discomfort, and he clenched his teeth behind closed lips.

"Anyway, I have to leave, now." Sheena's voice broke Zelos's train of thought, shocking him back to reality. He had not noticed that she had been talking all of this time.

At the first sight of the woman walking away, Zelos instinctively found himself latching on to Sheena's forearm, having unthinkingly moved several paces in a mere moment, and a sturdy hand flew across his cheek. "What are you doing?! Let go!" Sheena screeched. As if she were a burning bulb, Zelos's hand retracted for safety, now touching the tingling portion of his face. He gazed back at Sheena with a partially distraught expression, lingering on inner terror. What was he doing? This was not the usual way he went about groping women for his ego's satisfaction, but he doubted that anyone could tell the difference.

"W-wait!" his words willed out of his mouth. A weight held down his heart, tugging him to go beyond all expectations. For closure.

Zelos hesitated for a moment. "Err... I..." he trailed off, glancing at the matted grass beneath Sheena's boots. Against all his convictions and thoughts, he felt some words burning inside of him, just waiting to be unleashed. His voice softened to nearly a whisper, and he pushed the pads of his fingers together, fidgeting uncomfortably. "Sheena, I have to say something... N- not just to ask a question but..." But... What did he aim to say? Tethe'alla's Chosen One was supposed to be witty enough to deliver more than a stutter, but he found himself at a loss of words, pining over what may come next. Sheena probably had no time for him, either, and would leave, just like everyone else.

"Fine... Just – make it quick, okay?" Sheena muttered.

Surprised that Sheena did not completely reject him, Zelos began to smirk again, the old look of pride returning. He allowed himself time to recuperate and lowered his head thoughtfully. Maybe he did not want to see her expression this time, but he forced down whatever was left from his moment of weakness and thought of ways to regain notoriety, again. It is perfectly fine to be hated.

Sheena glanced at him, quickly spilling her mind to lessen the burden she carried. "Ever since this morning, you've been moping around. I- I came to check if something was wrong." The last part was rushed a bit, and she pursed her lips around the last word.

A rush of relief washed over Zelos, his fingers tingling and brain soothed. He could not understand why he wanted to relish this. She could have been lying only to dispel the stiff atmosphere, for her sake, alone. If only he could come to a resolve. He could say something idiotic to make her leave – he could play with her feelings a little. I probably owe her something more... Or I could hold off and leave her with- I really should say something soon. I- Go on and say something! Several conflicts stabbed through his brain, his mouth quivering from unspoken words.

The woman stood impatiently, albeit slightly worried, her eyes flickering in several different directions but avoiding the Chosen. Why was she this anxious to hear his voice? She found herself an idiot for feeling something for him because knew his habit of feigning vulnerability. Was this one of those times? Was this a joke to keep her here? Zelos remained in ungodly silence, causing paranoia to sweep across her mind. It was impossible for him to be in such deep thought without an agenda, but the idea disheartened Sheena, having thought well of him for perhaps a minute.

Raising her eyes to finally behold the figure before her, all her hopes instantly vanished, replaced by contempt. After drawing an invisible line to connect the direction of Zelos's eyes, she realized that he was observing her chest instead, a glazed, euphemistic expression lingering on his features. Her mouth slacked, and she made a quick intake of breath, eyes flaring into a glare. She ignored all possible excuses, shaking her head in bitterness. "You stupid Chosen," she enunciated carefully under her breath. She had enough of him and this place and stormed off, her nails biting into her skin. Never again. She was a fool for wanting to believe in him.

Little did Zelos imagine how the mind could carry one away so drastically. His awareness suddenly surfaced, and, worse yet, he recognized that no one was in sight. Oh... no. The tree's shadow had extended with the movement of the sun, mocking him for his failure. Eyes wide with confusion, Zelos spun in a circle, completely disoriented. "...Sheena?" This had to have been a trick. There was no way this could have happened, at least, not to him. The man swallowed with a dry throat, all realization coming together to strike him down. Is this the result of what he really wanted? Futilely so, he tried to find fault in someone, anyone, other than himself, and he flattened his lips together. "Curse you, conscience."


And this is how I originally wrote the fanfic at the age of 14, misuse of words and all~ Just adding it for the lulz of comparison.
Spoiler:

I already planned on posting this at one point, but reading something here about how canon character dialogues in author's notes are awfully made... I had to show what I used to do.

I must admit that it was because of writing fanfics back then that my writing dramatically improved in less than a year. Even if I used to read quite a bit before venturing into fan fiction, the rules of writing never penetrated my mind until after I BEGAN writing and getting critiques as to how terrible I was. It is embarrassingly hilarious that I was such a lunchboxy firebrand back then.

 Frustrated

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Oh, words. Mere figments of humanity. So belittling, inspiring. Words will surely be my doom.

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Post by kyuuichii on 27/01/14, 09:39 am

It's Tales of Symphonia, nee? I never think about this cute side of Zelos >///< poor Zelos  sad why you spaced out while looking at Sheena's chest  shocked 

And you write this at fourteen?! Amazing  :D 

Please post your other fanfic here  wink I wanna read it

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「俺がお前をどう思ってるなんて、口にしなくても分かるだろう?……分かれよ、バカ」
~ My feelings towards you, without speaking it directly, you have understand it, right? ......You've know it, stupid ~
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Post by Aiwethryne on 01/02/14, 04:36 am

Just the second one was at fourteen. The first was my edit years later. My other fanfics are scary bad~ I still need to edit them.

I think that Zelos is a tragic figure under his perverse behavior~ Seles, his little sister, is my favorite character, so their backstories make me sad.

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Oh, words. Mere figments of humanity. So belittling, inspiring. Words will surely be my doom.

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
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Post by kyuuichii on 01/02/14, 05:09 am

hee... maybe you can show your other fanfic to me?  Just as planned  and why is could be bad, nee?

Oow... I always think Zelos is a cheerful character among the other XD But, my favorite still Leon Magnus  Oh you~

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「俺がお前をどう思ってるなんて、口にしなくても分かるだろう?……分かれよ、バカ」
~ My feelings towards you, without speaking it directly, you have understand it, right? ......You've know it, stupid ~
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Post by Aiwethryne on 01/02/14, 05:22 am

I mean my fave in Symphonia. LEON MADE ME SOOOO— *sawbs in a corner* The PS2 director's cut version upset me. But Hikaru Midorikawa~~

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Oh, words. Mere figments of humanity. So belittling, inspiring. Words will surely be my doom.

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
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Post by kyuuichii on 01/02/14, 05:22 am

haha yes... I see XD Hikaru-San really fits for Leon  Ehehe~ 
Have you tried Tales of the World too?

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「俺がお前をどう思ってるなんて、口にしなくても分かるだろう?……分かれよ、バカ」
~ My feelings towards you, without speaking it directly, you have understand it, right? ......You've know it, stupid ~
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Post by Aiwethryne on 01/02/14, 05:24 am

I have~ I have played every Tales game except both Xillias and Vesperia. I own The first Xillia, though. *owns no PS3*

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Oh, words. Mere figments of humanity. So belittling, inspiring. Words will surely be my doom.

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
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Post by kyuuichii on 01/02/14, 05:38 am

Woow... :PI haven't playing Vesperia and Xillia too  sad  I love Tales Destiny 1&2 most  Embarassed/ Kyaa!

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「俺がお前をどう思ってるなんて、口にしなくても分かるだろう?……分かれよ、バカ」
~ My feelings towards you, without speaking it directly, you have understand it, right? ......You've know it, stupid ~
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Post by Aiwethryne on 01/02/14, 07:04 am

I really want Vesperia, but it is so hard to find a copy that is new and unopened. Though I don't have an Xbox, either.  :p  I wanted to ask my friend to let me play his, but he moved away. Disappointed~

A life without Stahn. D8 D8

I cannot really pick a favorite out of the games in general. I love the oldest Tales games, but battles were always so haaaarrddd since I had to massively grind all the time and time freeze in Phantasia was so tedious. Then I just happened to write Symphonia fanfics a lot before.

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Oh, words. Mere figments of humanity. So belittling, inspiring. Words will surely be my doom.

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
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Post by kyuuichii on 01/02/14, 07:07 am

@_@ Then I wish you had xbox  Ehehe~ 

grinding level (_ _)||| I've felt that too... then show me the other fanfic as well XD

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「俺がお前をどう思ってるなんて、口にしなくても分かるだろう?……分かれよ、バカ」
~ My feelings towards you, without speaking it directly, you have understand it, right? ......You've know it, stupid ~
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Post by Aiwethryne on 01/02/14, 07:18 am

Ahah. It's totally embarrassing! I deleted three of the ones I have online because it was obviously like a dorky child vying for attention. But I really need to get back to drawing right now. It's kind of hard to draw while typing. LOLOL

I am pretty sure that I would show more of my writing at some point, though. I don't only write fan fiction...

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Oh, words. Mere figments of humanity. So belittling, inspiring. Words will surely be my doom.

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
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Post by kyuuichii on 01/02/14, 07:35 am

alright.... I'll be waiting for your art as well XD

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「俺がお前をどう思ってるなんて、口にしなくても分かるだろう?……分かれよ、バカ」
~ My feelings towards you, without speaking it directly, you have understand it, right? ......You've know it, stupid ~
kyuuichii
kyuuichii
Mahou Shoujo
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