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Kuroshituji Fanfic - Collection of One Shot 0tppz1z
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Kuroshituji Fanfic - Collection of One Shot

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default Kuroshituji Fanfic - Collection of One Shot

Post by Zuyuu on 13/04/13, 07:15 pm

I'm so nervous here. I'm trying to be a writer. (I'm an artist by the way.)
I know...List
I know Black Butler isn't an otome game or something.
I know this belong to Toboso Yana
I know this is PG16
I know they're kids
I know many people prefer this as a yaoi
I know this is a famous manga
I know this is freaking long.

But I don't know if you like this or not.
Give a comment or anything you prefer.


Btw I recommened read this: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] before you start reading, you will understand better ... I think
[------------------------------Night before Christmas-----------------------------]
It was a day beautiful holiday with snow and wind in the city of England.

The bell rang cheerfully after the tune of Christmas's song. Everyone looked so excited and quickly rushed back to their home.
Ciel looked up to the sky, he let out a sigh. He used to celebrate this day with his family and relative. That was a long time ago, before it happened. He still can enjoys this holiday with Elizabeth and the servants. But when he think about it, he was only feel emptiness running through his mind. The foggy air and chilly wind is all surround him, make the cold feeling ran down his spine. He wanted to be alone in a family holiday, because no matter what, he will a be alone forever after the contract is over. His heart was frozen a long time ago. He glanced at the poor children, they weren't like him, they never will. Yet, they looked so happy, they've what he doesn't have any more. The people were rushing through without looking at the little Earl. Soon, all of the shops closed, the street was empty, there was no one beside him, except...
Ciel glanced at the others side of the street and saw a girl.
She was around his age, she had short,[h/c] hair as smooth as silk just touch her shoulders. She was standing in front of the toy shop before Ciel was here, just observe the items in the toy shop. She sighed and looked at it, her cute face rather looked disappoint. The toy shop closed sooner than other shops, that's what she knew. Her [e/c] orbs stared at an item with sadness. Unconsciously, Ciel moved toward to her direction without making a noise. She's taller than him when got close to her so Ciel had to reached up and looked at it through her shoulders. What an unexpected surprise! It was a little music box, looked rather old. It didn't had many detailed decorate on it. Simply, light, and made out of wood.
Seem like the girl was spaced out while she's looking at it, so when Ciel closed his eyes and sighed, she suddenly shrugged as she felt warm breath on her neck.
The little girl didn't look back because she scared, but then, she tried to calm herself down and turned herself back. She was surprise, yet, relief, because it was a small boy.
"Do you need anything?" The girl looked at the Earl's dark blue orb with her big and round [e/c] orbs, as when they meet each other, Ciel felt blood on his cheeks, made him suddenly avoid her eyes. " Sorry, Miss." He chirped then eyed on the girl."The music box, you was staring it for quite of the time." Her eyes widened, then, she gave him a warm smile. "I've might been weird for standing here for a long time. Really sorry if it bother you." Her voice became more quiet at the end. Ciel shook his head. "No. It didn't bother me at all. I was just curious, why do a young lady like you was staring that music box for hours?" Truly, it was rare to saw that for Ciel, all of the knowledges about young lady he gathered from Elizabeth is dress, gown, pink, and others. A plain, simple, and wooden music box, caught this girl attention, just like when Elizabeth saw those laces and pink dress. " I ... It 's nothing... Just some old goofy memories of mine. " He wouldn't know she was trying to hide her sadness by smiling brightly if the sadness in her eyes didn't appear. " You don't have to tell me, but if you need to, I'll be here. " Ciel, who was having a tiny feeling of his old-self, looked at her with pity eyes. Her [h/c] hair was vibratory with the wind, she finally opened herself for once.
She said, she was raising at the country side so she could had best character to become the family's heir. Living in there affect her much, she was a timid child before that, but now, she's open up to more people. Sometime, too open up. She got back to her noble's life after her sixth birthday, her mother gave her a wooden music box as a present. She loved it so much, she was happy. But not for long after that... Her family got involved into huge danger with some of the Underworld, not that she know, they need her to keep a secret that held all of her relatives's lives. But she was too innocent. One day, a mystery man approached her and give her a candy then told her if she tell him more about her family, she will having more candies. She accidently spread the secret out. The man patted her head and gave her a pack of Funtom's Caramel Sweets then walked away. She knew that there were something not right at the moment. She tried to ran back home as fast as possible... But it was too late. Her house was on fire, nobody alive after that except her. It was her fault, she said. The murder never been found. She was lonely, nothing left but a music box.
Ciel sat next to her on the sidewalk as she told about herself, he felt like he met someone likes him,in an impulsivity moment, he pressed her head on to his shoulder. She wasn't expected for that, yet, still remain silent as she bite her bottom lip to stop herself from crying, Ciel looked away from her, he had a bossy, calm, but caring voice. "Cry." He placed his elbow on his knee and lied his chin on his palm. "It's not good for you if you keep trying to not cry. I know that feeling, and it's sucks. So cry, as loud as you can." As he finished his words, tears started to flow out of the corner of her eyes, ran down to her cheeks. She held it for a long time, and when the time come, she 'exploded'. She didn't care if she doesn't even know his name, or they just met, all she knew, she felt safe around him. For a long time, she didn't rely on anyone except 'him'. The blonde angel with beryl blue eyes, his smile always warm her up, but not anymore. He wasn't the one she loved before, he changed, but her love never change. Everything was too much for her to handle. Her sniffled sound and hiccups still there after a while when Ciel glanced back at her, he's cold, yet, his heart is starting to melt when he heard the sobbing from her. "Feel better?" He asked and received a trembling nod from her, he placed a small kiss on her forehead, made her became quiet. "Sometime, it's better if you had someone to comfort you in this situation." She lifted her head up and stared at him with her wet and teary eyes, he wiped her tears with his thumb through his white glove then gave her a confident smirk. "Tell you what, come back tomorrow night, you'll have a pleasant suprise. Sound good?" She eyed at him confused but then, she gave him a happy smile as an answer. "Great I will be waiting then." As he said, they both got up. Separate their way to their home, feeling really happy deep inside. They made a promise of reunion, a date even though they just met, a new chance of love, even when they don't know the other name.

"Welcome back, My Lord." Sebastian greeted Ciel with a polite bow as he walked into his manison. "You're seem ... 'enlighted'. Did you have any good time alone, My Lord?"

Ciel still quiet until he got into his room with his faithful butler behind. He sat on the bed, somewhere at the corner of his lips was smiling, a very tiny smile. The butler kneel down to untied his master shoes as he talked. "Lady Elizabeth was sending a invitation for a Christmas's ball at tomorrow night. She really hoping young master to come."

Ciel didn't open his mouth like his mind was somewhere out there, not here. Sebastian smirked and started to help Ciel undress. "Did you met someone special, My Lord?" His voice made Ciel suddenly blush when he thought about the girl. He shook his head lightly, not that he wants to say, but in the end, he had to say anyway. "Sebastian." The butler answered, lowered his voice, placed his hand on his chest when he stood up as he eyed down to the tiny master with his crimson eyes. "Yes, My Lord?" The Young Earl said with a demanded voice. "I want you to make a music box with the most beautiful melody for me!" Ciel climbed on to his bed and untied the eyepatch, placed it on the bedside, reveal a glowing purple eyes with the contract's mark on it, those beautiful eyes of his stared at the butler, waited for an answer. " Yes, My Lord. But..."
Ciel grumbled and crossed his arms in front of his chest. " No BUT! Now get out! I'm tired." He turned away from the butler, pulled the blanket above his head to covered every part of his body. Quickly, he closed his eyes while the butler got out of the room and closed the door silently.

" Brat. " A small grumpy voice echoed through the hall.

Somewhere else...

The girl walked into the Trancy's manison with a small yawn, she seem tired, yet happy. But the feeling quickly got shut down as she heard bitter voice in the darkness. " Where have you been, [f/n]?" She felt coldness running down her spine, she tried to stay calm. "I've been talking some air, my love." Her tears was about to flow out again, all of those days, he hit and snapped her, but she still stay silent no matter what, because she promise she'll never leave him.
He gnashed his teeth, he was nowhere to be found in the darkness, then suddenly, a loud smack was coming out, she couldn't hold her tears anymore so it flood out when she hold the bright red cheek. His anger, it made her tremble and scare, yet, she loved him, because she knew, even if he hurts her, he still loved her back. The boy embraced her, squeeze her tightly, he cried with her, but for another reason. " I thought you leave me for somebody else! I was so worry! Don't do that again without me! " She felt like she was out of breath from his squeeze, he tightened her for a bit longer then released her while holding her chin and searching for her lips in the darkness. He sucked it hardly, didn't care if she hurt. "You're mine! And always will!" She tried to say underneath her breath. " I'm yours. And always will... Alois."
The servants saw that and quietly looked at them, this was too normal for them to see.

[----------------------Christmas Morning---------------------]

Ciel woke up in full of joy, well at least he felt like that, he had grumpy face ... still... happy . He sat in his office while hold the little music box Sebastian gave him this morning, it had a quite relaxing,yet,extremely beautiful tune and simple decorate on it. He smiled and held it like it is a precious little treasure. He excited, to meet her.
"What do you means by you can't come?! It's Christmas! Everybody is free on Christmas!" Said Elizabeth with a high and sad voice.

"I said I will try to come, Elizabeth. You know I'm not as free as most of children in England." Ciel sighed, he felt headache when it come to this situation.
" Whatever you said." Elizabeth huffed, she pouted like she is mad at him, she was so excited to dance with Ciel on this day. "Come if you can, I will be waiting." As she said, Elizabeth stood up and looked back him. " I have to prepare something, so I have to go now. " By mean prepare she means set up a 'mistletoe plan'. Give him a kiss won't hurt, she think. She was mad at him but she can't hold herself and turned back to hug him before she leave. "Bye Ciel, I will missing you!"
Ciel sat on his couch with the most expressionless face. "Goodbye Elizabeth." He said, and receive a shout. "IT'S LIZZY!"

Trancy's Manison.

" I can't go with you." She crossed her finger and placed her hands on her knees. Alois's happy face quick turn pale, he glanced at her with a deathly cold look. "What did you said?" He squeeze the invitation and threw it on the floor, then Alois slowly walked to her direction. "I'm asking for the last time. What.Did.You.Said?" She looked away, didn't dare to look His Highness in the eyes, he pinned her hands on the chair's arm, leaned closer to her, but didn't touch her face, only to threat her. " I-I can't go with you. " She said and closed her eyes, tightly, waiting him to slap her like every other time. And he did, harsh. He said with full of anger. "I repeat once again. You're MINE. And WHAT I said, You've to FOLLOW!" She started to sob and nod.

" Now, prepare. We've to go to the Midford's Christmas Party."

Ciel waited... and waited. She didn't come. She never came. He felt his heart ached, it started to freeze, once again. The butler stood behind him patient wait for his master to finish his 'business'. He was really exciting to go, and now, the excitement gone. He held the small ribbon box inside his hand. " We still can made it to the party, My Lord." Ciel sighed, knowing it is no use to wait anymore, then nodded.
"Let's go"

"Do you enjoys this, my dear, [f/n], hum?" Alois wrapped his arm around her waist, his expression was really bright, that made her felt happy, but at the same time, she worried, about that boy, he must been waiting her for so long. She hoped he is okay.
" You're such a lucky young lady, [f/n]!" Elizabeth suddenly popped out from nowhere and gave her a small grin. Alois smiled brightly, more say, proudly.
"I wish I can be lucky like you..." She sighed.
"What's wrong, Elizabeth?" She asked her, while inside her head probably screaming : I can trade with you if you want but I'm afraid of dead!
"Shesh... My fiance haven't arrived yet!" She crossed her arm in front of her chest and pout, very lady-like. Alois placed his hand on her shoulder, and gave her a hidden grin. "If you don't mind..." Alois said, caught Elizabeth's attetion on him. "...then may I have a dance with you?"

"I would love to! But..." She looked at [f/n] , asking for her permission. She just nodded slightly with a smile, she can't be jealous over a small thing, doesn't like her fiance
Elizabeth is her friend, her fiance's enemy's fiance, a good bait to make his enemy jealous. She never met Elizabeth's fiance, and unlike most of people, she doesn't judge people through describe. She went to find a chair to sit as they, hand-by-hand, walked to the middle of the room, where other couple danced with each other. Claude, who silently stood next to her, said with a expressionless voice." You don't like dancing, my lady?"
The conversation ended awkwardly with the awkward butler.
The slow, and romantic song gave her a quite annoying feeling but that's not all. In the mid-song, Elizabeth suddenly stopped dancing as she saw someone, Ciel, her fiance, she didn't notice much since her eyes was all on her fiance.
"Did you enjoy it?" She calmly said.
"Are you jealous?" He grinned. " Trying to revenge on me huh? I don't know you're vengeful."
"Tch..." She shook her head as a disagreement. "So...do you want to dance my lady?" Alois playfully asked her. The butler, who was standing there all the quiet time, looked at his master with a sigh. "What? I can't flirt my own fiance?" Alois grimaced, took her hand, and pulled her into the crowd.

Ciel, he was greeted by his 'beloved' fiance, too much, I think. Made Madam Francis appeared. "Well, Ciel, you're 2 hours late and you still came, I'm quite unexpect for this. Are you being shameless?"
"My apologize, aunt Francis. I have a little 'business' I need to take care stand on my way. I'm hoping for your forgiveness." He said as he bowed down.

"Don't saying that to me. The one you need to apologize is Elizabeth." Madam Francis glanced at her innocent daughter. Ciel sighed."I'm truly sorry Elizabeth."
"Oh don't worry, I'm glad, you're here." She hugged him tightly then release him because of her mother's awareness. Ciel looked at crowd, he hates this kind of socialty, then suddenly, a familiar figure appear, [h/c] flash through his eyes, dragging by... ALOIS?! He was surpire.

"Elizabeth, who is the lady with Earl Trancy?" He walked into the party with Elizabeth, despite the annoying crowd, who keep saying "Cheers!" and dancing with music all around, he still can here every words she said.
"Oh, that's my friend, [f/n][l/n], Earl Trancy's fiance!"

Those words keep running around Ciel's head for a wild moment until Elizabeth woke him up. "Anything wrong my dear?" She curiously looked at him. "Nothing." Ciel said, with his eyes closed, he didn't want to show his expression right now. "Okay then, do you want to dance?"
"No...." He didn't finish his words then a couple of [e/c] orbs met his eyes, she was dancing, with his enemy, it made him suddenly change his mind. "No reason to refuse."
Even though he was really mad and tired, he still let himself out and dancing with Elizabeth. In a moment, they flash through each other, but she didn't keep her eyes on his like he did, like she never knew him. His heart broken into pieces, this made Alois, who was watching since he was in the room, excited, and, nervous. Did he just looked at his precious [f/n]? Well, pity for him, this girl will bring Trancy's name in the future, not Phantomhive. Hah! Finally, Ciel 0 Alois 1.
"I feel a little dizzy, Alois, I need a break." She said with a tired voice, her eyes looked down, she didn't want to dance, at least, not by force. Alois gripped(?) her tightly, leaned closer to her make her blush in a kind of red's shade, he whispered. "You're not going anywhere."
As he said, he glanced at the young Phantomhive, who looked at him with angry blue orbs. Made Alois laughed happily inside. Suddenly, Elizabeth, who is happily dancing with Ciel, remembered something and run away, let the young earl all along. Now, Alois is freaking happy, he licked on [f/n]'s earglobe. Ciel crossed his arm and walked back to his butler.


" Excuse me here." Elizabeth stood on the stair, held a small paper on her hand with her brother stood next to her, hold a small box with papers and a mistletoe. All of the room attention was on her. Elizabeth smiled sheepishly, then quickly get her confident back, and announce her idea."Since today was Christmas, I want everyone to have their own small happiness."
The Midford's parent were surprise, they didn't know anything.
"We will play a game call "Under the Mistletoe" as the holiday's spirit!" She giggled. "We've been write an amount of certain guests's name on each small papers in this box. Whoever got picked must kiss their partner under the mistletoe! So ... Shall we start?"
She didn't let anyone said anything and started to pick the two very first name.

She grinned cheekily.
She looked at the 2nd paper, then suddenly, her face looked pale.
"Ciel Phantomhive...."
The paper was dropped on the ground, as the three's surprise face looked up at her.

"[f-f/n]?!"Alois muttered, and crossed his arm. He shook his head. "I'm not allow!" "C-Ciel suspose to be mine..." Elizabeth mumbled quietly while [f/n] at the other side of room was too shocked to say anything, nearly jaws dropped. Ciel chuckled them said with a smirk. "Well,well,well, seem like Earl Trancy is getting too serious for a small game." Elizabeth eyed at Ciel nervously. "What are you saying Ciel?!" He just shrugged. " Your game, your cost. I don't mind much. Not like I would fall for her because of a little thing."
Elizabeth seem relief but not Alois.
"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! She is NOT going to KISS anyone but ME!" Alois grumbled, then Claude quickly stopped him before he did anything mad. Alois quickly fainted in front [f/n], who was amazed by Claude's power. He whispered into [f/n] as he carried his master on his hand, princess-style."I didn't live a thousand years for nothing my lady." As he said he brought Alois away. "My Lord is tired, hope everyone don't mind if we came home early."
[f/n] glanced back at the crowd nervously. "So..." She said. "Um--"
"What need to be done, have to be done." Sebastian finally speak up as he held a mistletoe above Ciel's head but under his. "Lady [f/n], please,if you don't mind."
She can't say 'I do mind' because she had this tiny feeling for him from yesterday, but she can't kiss him, because she love Alois...Alois.
"Well, Alois, he isn't here so kiss the damn out of Ciel!" She suddenly heard someone said behind her, no, in her head. She shook her head. "So you don't want it, milady?" She sighed. "Ah...It's not that..."
"Then may I?" Ciel held out his hand, as soon as she placed her hand on his, he immediatly pulled her closer to him and gave her a passionate kiss. He bite her bottom lip, his tounge asked her to be in, she resisted, but he was more powerful. His tounge danced inside her mouth, he sucked it, like Alois did, as a punishment. Then he whispered into her ears. "Don't let me down, again." before he let go off her and slid his box into her hand. She was amazed by him, no one else, except her fiance's enemy. She was afraid of Alois so she didn't dare to contact with him. Everybody in the room looked away, except Sebastian. Well, shameless Sebastian is shameless.
Elizabeth quickly hugged Ciel after that. "I won't do that again! I swear I won't!" She said with full of regret. Ciel just smirked, leaving [f/n] shocked, all by her own.

When she got back to home, Alois was already in bed. So she quietly opened the gift box and saw the small music box with a note.
"For you, mon amour. - Ciel Phantomhive"
[f/n] smiled, but there is tears on her cheek, why did she cry, she asked herself, did she, did she fall in love with the young Phantomhive? No, no, no, that was all wrong. She just felt guilty because of Alois, she always love him the most. She wiped tears on her face and got back to her bedroom. Alois was sleeping peacefully on his bed, he looked so calm, so gently, like, before. She quickly hid the music box and the note got changed. When [f/n] got on bed, she quickly embraced him from behind, stroked his hair and skin, she took a deep breath of his child's scent. She quickly fell asleep, so she didn't know right after that, Alois held the hand she placed on his chest. A small tears river flow down on to his pillow.

He sighed, and threw the piece of note into the trash can, then throw the music box at the ground, gnashed it into pieces. [f/n] heard a loud noise so she quickly rushed into the room and saw Alois stared at the floor, she became mute, then he looked up at her, he smiled, a wacky smile. "Let's play a game, [f/n]!" His face darkened as he explain the rule, made her moved backward slowly ."You'll be standing at the stair and I will pushing you! Isn't it fun?!" He giggled then laughed. "AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" She ran away, her heart beatting fast, she afraid of him, he isn't himself anymore, he's a sicko, a pyscho. He lost his mind. She heard somebody follow her, she didn't know why but she stopped at the stair. "Oh Goody! You're right on spot!" She heard his voice before she was pushed down...
[Read Song Fic-Love The Way You Lies by Maddy Massacre for more information]

...Days later...
Ciel smiled to himself, again, and observed the beautiful view through the window. "You seem happy, my Lord." Sebastian walked into the room with the morning tea. "The weather is kinda cold today, isn't it? Just like Christmas Day." Ciel grinned then quickly calm himself down and pick the newspaper up along with the tea cup after Sebastian explain about the meal. As he read the news's title, his cup of tea fell of his hand, crashed to pieces on the ground, second later, the newspaper flew down, reveal the widened eyes of the Earl.

"DAY X/12/18XX"

The sky was dark, everybody was down off the mood, no one happy, because they were all love Lady [f/n][l/n]. Lord Alois nowhere to be seen along with his servants. At the funeral, only a black color was displayed. But nobody gave a tear, because, they knew, lady [f/n] would hate to see others. They were all silent to memorize the lovely young lady,who always treat everyone nicely, from lower class to higher class. At a place faraway from people's vision, a short figure with an eyepatch and a tall man in black stood.

"Goodbye my dear [f/n][l/n]."

I don't know what I just wrote....

Losing, Falling, Laying, Love

"I think--I think when it's all over,
It just comes back in flashes, you know?"
"It's like a kaleidoscope of memories.
It just all comes back. But he never does."
You lied on the floor, stared unsonsiously at the ceiling.
Your body felt heavy, your muscles are aching. Thoughts keep echoing in your head, it made you desperate. You thought you would forgot about it forever and keep living. Everything in your life was flowing fluently with you, until you saw him again. You never thought about it. But he was there, memories suddenly flooded back again, even though it was in flashed. Did he knew? How much he hurted you? He left all of those memories for you. You was happy, yes, but those happiness didn't last for long. What was it? It all came back, but he never did.

"I think part of me knew the second I saw him that this would happen.
It's not really anything he said or anything he did,
It was the feeling that came along with it.
And the crazy thing is I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel that way again."

He came to you like the wind of winter passing through in the coldest day in England. It was cold, but you didn't run away, you awared this, but you didn't afraid. He was a gentleman, even though he just a butler. His voice was sweet like butter, every words he said making you can't resist him. His act, his appearence, everything was too perfect to be real. You didn't want all of that. The feeling just came. It was passionate. The way he kissed you, embraced you in the cold night, or teased you sweetly. All of those was easily forgotten after he leaves, like he never exsist. You just knew one thing, there are no other man can treat you like him, no one can make you feel that way again.
"But I don't know if I should.
I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright.
But I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you toward someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you?
Maybe he knew that when he saw me."

There was something dangerous about him. Something that you didn't want to know. He was mysteries and always working like a machine, he never rest even when he near you. Does he want to leave? You always asking yourself when he with you. When you finally managed to asked him, he just smiled at you then said that he will never leave you. You knew it was a lie. A fluently lie without thinking. All of his faithful promise was long gone. It was an angelic smile covered all of his demon soul. Guess you never knew.

"I guess I just lost my balance.
I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him.
It was losing me."
After he disappeared, you was searching for him in madness when the day come, and fallen asleep in rivers of tears flow down to your pillow. All of it made you changed, he made you changed. You wasn't 'you' anymore. Not that innocent and stupid girl from that day. You are the other girl now. You was ... different. More mature, independent, and you forgot how to love anyone else beside him. Your foolish love lead you to an end.
In the end, you still had the inorgance yet childlike smile on your face. Acted like him, you never knew him when you saw him. When he left, you knew that day would come, but you never thought about how will you going to act in front of him. And now you knew.

But you never left him.
So did he.

"..." He keeped you silent by using his soft and smooth lips, made all of your words blocked by his moist and skilled tounge until...
" You're still love me?" You asked in a huff. You were mad at him for leaving you and mad at yourself for accept him.
He stared you in a blindful moment. You didn't know how did he react to that because the life was out and your mind was too blurry to think.
"What a foolish question." His smile flashed in the darkness, in his cheeky way that he only used for you.
"So... do you?" You gasped when he leaned down once again. Before you can manage to heard was he said, you passed out.

"No apologies, he'll never see you cry
Pretend he doesn't know that he's the reason why
You're drowning, you're drowning, you're drowning."

The tears is running down again, you never knew how did he feel about you. Was everything just a lie? You walked out of that room, too empty to notice that there are a piece of paper lied on the bedside. You shut the down hardly, made the piece of paper fall down. Reveal a sentence "Je t'aime - Your one and only lover."

Everything was going to an end. You stood on the brigde, looked down to the river. You sighed, your small and cute lips made a curve on both side. You let go off yourself, fallen down to the river. The cold water of the Winter touched your skin, the feeling was like when you saw him. You eyes slowly closest then you saw his eyes, it was beautiful pink orbs. He was mad. He tried to pull you up. But you were gone.

"Hello my love..."
"Yes?" Your pair of [e/c] eyed on him. His butter sweet voice will never change.
"I heard you want me." He said, his eyes glowed again. " What do you 'want' me to do, my sweet [y/n]?"
Your [e/c] eyes changed into his eyes's color. The two of you match each other perfectly when you walked into his arms.

"I want you to love me and stay by me forever..."

What is the sniz I just wrote again ; u ;?

Love me, hate me. Just tell me by comments. I <3 feedbacks. Thank you for your time.

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default Re: Kuroshituji Fanfic - Collection of One Shot

Post by NuitNoire on 13/04/13, 07:21 pm

Finally, something for Kuroshitsuji that isn't a yaoi! -is not a yaoi fan- Now you've encouraged me to post my Alice Series stuff here too! And you're not terrible by any means, I promise. I've studied creative writing and English enough to know that!

Now to continue reading...
OH! Uploaders
OH! Uploaders

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default Re: Kuroshituji Fanfic - Collection of One Shot

Post by Zuyuu on 14/04/13, 09:35 am

-is not a yaoi fan, too-
Your words making me feel so touching. Wrote them cause me hours of sleepy head and butt-aching. I'm glad that I've encouraged you to post your Alice Series. This world need moar love!


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default Re: Kuroshituji Fanfic - Collection of One Shot

Post by Aiwethryne on 22/01/14, 07:32 am

I actually do not read Kuroshitsuji due to all of the fans who ooze BL/yaoi vibes for it, but I just like reading so I gave it a go~ I liked what happened in the overall story, and it was enjoyable enough without having ever read or watched the actual series.

There were several punctuation, tense, spacing, and typo issues, but it was not much of a problem in terms of understandability. The main thing I noticed was the improper use of some terms, such as "impulsivity." I don't know whether or not it was due to fatigue while you were writing, or if you just thought it sounded cooler at the time, but that was a particular quirk I'd see. After a few moments of contemplation, I figured out that [e/c] and [h/c] meant eye color and hair color, respectively, but is there a reason for writing that? If it is at all related to the top link, I have not looked at it. It would help people who cannot figure that out on their own to have it spelled out in longhand at the very top.

My suggestion is that you add spaces between each paragraph because forums such as these do not automatically indent or anything. Currently, the text just looks very chunky from the lack of spacing, and my astigmatic eyes have trouble coping with that.

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